Guys. It's happening. It's freaking happening. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The past 5 days have brought with them massive change and I'm just so excited and thankful and happy and in awe and encouraged and so on. It really hit me last night as I was on route to the show, less than one hour until "go time" and I was relaxed. I said out loud in my car, "this might actually be fun."
Can I tell you just how long I've been hoping to feel this way about music? FOREVER. Ever since I was a little girl singing songs at the top of my lungs in my bedroom only to be totally flattened by fear and anxiety outside the comfort of my own space, I've been wondering if there ever could be JOY in music for me when it comes to sharing it with others. YES. YES, THERE CAN BE!
I am so encouraged by this change and it makes all the work I need to do to get real profesh in my guitar playing and performance so much more meaningful because I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
On my way to the show last night I realized that as I become more comfortable in my female body and with my own sexuality and biology, I can be okay with being seen. I don't need to be scared of myself and my womanness (as many women are taught through biblical representation), so I can stand up there on that stage and be all cozy and fine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am co-creating this life with the forces of the universe - God, Source, Spirit, Ancestors, whatever you want to call it - and I'm overflowing with GRATITUDE and emotion for I can finally see what it might be like to feel joy and comfort in music, performance, in my body, in my sexuality, my womanness, my SELF.
Today I celebrate!
Photo by Alicia. Thank you to my darling friends for your support.